the 27th.

So it's official as of today. =] yayy! this weekend...was uhhh...a weekend. lol. I really wasn't plannin on being like that. But he was there, i think, to take care of me and then some. Twas cool beans though. Got in a world of trouble, but at least i'm livin my life.

He makes me happy.

-open your eyes, damn gook!

working on it

"patience is a virtue."
"good things come to those who wait."





had good convo tonight.
and it's safe to say, he is my best friend above all things. =]

downward slope

Past couple of days have been ones where I have been thinking constantly. I am one paranoid person...it's only doing me bad. I'm trying sooo soo soooo hard to be patient. But holy crap, it's so hard. Never have i tried to be so patient in my life before man. I feel like it's a test from God and i'm really trying to past it. they said that "good things come to those who wait." but we shall see.

The patience I'm thinking of is pertaining to a certain relationship that has re-entered my life. And I'm thankful for. We're both kind of going through a struggle right now and maybe we're just taking it out on each other or maybe we're to scared to open up to one another. I don't wanna seem desperate, I don't wanna seem to attached already, and i dont wanna be pushy. So i'm tryin to be laid back, let him do his thang and not be bothered when i don't get a text back. He is the sweetest thing ever, and i'll be damned if i let my influence let it go sour. Which is something I feel I do a lot. Maybe I impose myself into a guy, and that's what makes them pull away. So this time, I'll pull myself away more while trying not to seem too distant, and hopefully it will become a realtionship as successful as it was before.

But...i miss you.

I'll Try

My Honey Buuuny!
Sooo...you're pretty bummed out right now due to you being human and forgetting something. Honey, you know you're only perfect to me not to the whole world. =p But anywaize...i guess...this will be my attempt to make you smile, even though you probably won't read this because you don't have time.
Well first off, as much as this seems not so "romantic", I just wanted to write you this to tell you how i feel [as if you dont know] about the relationship we have. I am SO BLESSED to have met you and for you to come into my life. There are few people that I have met that I can honestly say have changed my life for the better and you are probably one of the three. I know that you were bummed out when i said i was in love with two people and I guess I'll take the time now to clarify that [not make excuses]
Like I've said numerous times, I was stupid and nieve and immature. I was in a vulnerable state of being in a new place with a new situations being thrown at me constantly, and I guess Dom was my "home" during that time. I said I was in love with him because i was confused. I thought that being comfortable with someone was being in love. And yes, i was comfortable with him...but [i can say this being totally honest] he's never given me butterflies the way you have, he's never given me "that feeling" that you give me...that i've looked for in every guy after you. Now i wanna put everything out there, but i dont' wanna come off too desperate. But yeaaaaah. I loved dom, I will say that. But i wasn't IN love with him...With him, life was harder. Only thing I really got out of is was a social life. lol. And not gonna lie, it was hard to let go of that...I can honestly say that I've changed quite a bit since I've broken up with him and started talking to you again. Not even like TALKING talking, just becoming friends again like before made me realize what I had let go, or what let me go anywaise. During the most recent relationship with dom, we were arguing quite a bit. And me being me, I kept making excuses for his behavior and him being a good manipulator, I feel or the tricks. But I didn't understand why we constantly fought, while the whole time HE knew...he stated in the most perfect way possible and that was that "he wasn't perfect, he isn't you [dan]." After we broke up the first time, i was unconsciously looking for you in every guy I dated after you without even knowing. I wanted you ever since I met yooou.....MY GOD i sound crazy. But it's true honey. And i know my words are nothing really, but I WILL show you that this is all coming from my heart and that you are all I want. I WILL wait for you when you leave for your career, I will wait for you even if you don't want me anymore, I will wait for you when you need a mental day off...honey just give me time to prove all of this to you. I will do anything. I guess it's true when they say you never know what you go till it's gone...well all along i knew you were perfect, but drifiting apart from you made it that much more clear. I don't want the time and memories we have together to end. Us taking things slow is the best way to go. I adore you in every way possible...I love the fact that you can stay at home and just play video games for hours, I love the way you hold me, I love the way you talk about your job both the times you hate and love it, I love how we could talk about history, I love how I can say stupid things to you and you reinforce it with an even more ridculous comment, I love everything about yooooou!!! All I ask is for you to give me time, and i have faith that you will too see my efforts and that you will in turn give me the happiness that you always have.

cheer up my lito chocobo...You've got me. [i know, i'm not worth 600 bucks. =p]

paths

Our paths seem to always cross each other, n the way that they have, things just dont happen like that. It's like...we're meant to be.

I admit, i lost my way while you were gone n left me out in the cold for a while. but no more excuses. I'll own up to my mistakes and say I'm sorri, I can only prove to you with time that you really are IT. And yes, i am sure. Sorri that i didn't catch your hint sooner. =p

Our memories are unforgettable, they're countless. I could talk to you for hours, you tell me how you feel about. You give me new reasons to keep smiling, you give me a new meaning on how to enjoy life.

I will wait for you from now on, and that's a fact.
I've learned my lessons from the past, and i believe things happen for a reason. Maybe we both needed to go our seperate ways in order to realize what we had. Poopstain! I heart yooooouu! Give me a chance to prove to you that i've only been in love with one person my whole life, and that is yoou!!

Eyes on Me

unexpect the expected.

i got that feeling today.
how sooon...so weird.
only you've given this to me.


ps. i drove on the highway by myself today. =] yeeee. i checked my blindspots tooooo. lol.

Happy Bento

Today was a good day. =]
Today we went to watch Eagle Eye...FINALLY. At first my stupid ass went to the wrong theater lol. Completely empty, how hot was that. Haha, j/k. pervs. But we watched it and it was coolio. Ate us some crunch bunches mmmmm...Then we went over to Happy Bento. Pretty dang good yo. Had us some sushi and some weird type of ice cream. He's mean though, always makes fun of my driving. But he's sweet at the same time "...shannon's like a butterfly in the clear sky, the only one truly here for me..." how corny right? But how lucky am i to have a guy who thinks of me like that when he sees something as simple as that...this guy. No one can compare.








ps. the spoons were so cute! but he didnt let me steal them. =[

Us Against The World

This would be my version of perfection.
Now...I know that a lot of people will talk because of the decisions I've made over the past year and may think that I'm totally contradicting what i've said. and maybe i am. Maybe I am contradicting what i've SAID. But my actions that I've made in the past year have contradicted what i've actually felt.
For once in my life, I've stopped making excuses, i've stopped lieing to myself, i've stopped feeding myself bullshit and started to realize what really is. I'm finally doing something for myself for once in my life.

No other person in this world has ever made me feel the way that he has. Those unbelievable amounts of butterflies, and that other feeling that's sooo indiscribable and i long for ever since I felt it with him. And as much as I've searched and searched, and thinking that I found it in someone else...i feel it again with him and I realize that NO ONE can compare. No one can make me feel the way that he does. I can literally talk to him about ANYTHING, people say that about their significant others, but fo'real...i can talk to him about anything, Never have i ever had a full fledge conversation about history with anybody else, and just the most randomest things, even the "bad" things. He's real, he's ambitious, he's my motivation, he's my party partner, he's what drives me to make me better. I picked up the piano for him. I'm tryin to extend my vocabulary for him to impress him. He makes me smarter and reinfources me. My mom loves him, and so does our dog. lol. My goooodness. i could go on and on and on about him.

So I guess what i'm tryin to say is that, I dont give a fuck about anybody's opinion. I'm sayin this in advance, cause I know people talk. I will never find anyone like him again, and this time, I'm going to play the cards right, for once. As long as I have my best friend [an actual best friend who gets every aspect of me in every way possible], family and sisters, then I'm good for the rest of my life.

I Want.

SMILE!

2moreNichi

oh how excited i am! =]

my bestest friend is coming hoooome!!!

Movies I want to watch

In no particular order:

-Invisible Children
-Definetly, Maybe
-Hancock
-Wanted
-Hellevator
-Be Kind, Rewind
-New York, I Love You
-Forgetting Sarah Marshall
-The Curious Case of Benjamin Fisher
-Eagle Eye
-Indiana Jones IV
-Sweeney Todd
-Nick and Norah's Infinte Playlist
-Eagle Eye
-My Best Friend's Girl
-Nights in Rodanthe
-Burn After Reading
-How to Lose Friends and Alieante People
-Blindness
-Once
-Science of Sleep
-City of God
-Hotel Rowanda

Lao Tzu

"the greatest illusion is fear."



"if you try to make people happy, you are laying the groundwork for misery."