HAPPY BIRTHDAY PRINCESS

Happy 18th Birthday Princess Kimi!

Yayy! You can finally go clubbing with us! Wha hoooo! lol. Your finally legal and you are takin no time in using that to your advantage. lol. Tommorrow your goin with turner to go get a cigar, scratch tickets, porn, and a sex toy. Just cause! lol. I'm 19 and I still haven' bought cigarettes, and i smoke more than you or Sarah. haha. but cheay. I'm excited for your debut! =] yikidee! Another memory to add to our life long of memories that we have. I durno why I'm writing this to you though lol. I'll see you tommorrow boo. I love you and you already know all the mushy gooshy crap i gotta say. =] Love you! HP3♥

Ink

So I've always wanted a tattoo.
But i'm not just gonna go out and randomly get one just to have one. I want one with meaning. Was gonna get a heart with crossbones, buut, I've already grown outta that phase. So I'm thinking..."Dear daddy". Cause there's still so much I have to say to him and i never have gotten the chance to say it to him. Not even at his funeral mass did I even get to say all that there was to say, due to time and to nerves, all the words i had in my heart to tell him weren't said.
I haven't sad down and actually thought about what has actually happened. I'm scared to. Is it necessary for me to? I dunno, probably maybe. But even just a second of just scanning of that last weekend of his life, of him suffereing and all the hurt he was feeling in that hospital bed. And those eyes, who tried so hard to talk to me, and to his family, but he couldn't cause that fuckin cancer. It was hard because we couldn't have a conversation with him like we would have liked to. That was the hardest thing. And to think, I did nothing this year as a college student to make him proud. As hard as i tried, I didn't have outstanding accomplishments to make him proud, instead we got into the hugest fights ever. I feel like I failed as a daughter during those last months of your life. And for that I'm truly sorry. But what kills me the most, is that my absolute favorite memory of you is when we danced together at my debut and we were just making fun of eachother. And you tried not to cry. haha. And it was the most memorable thing about my whole debut, and it was the perfect father daughter dance ever. But you won't be there for wedding to give me away or dance with me there, you won't be there to see my graduate from college, or be there to see my first child be born. And that kills me so much. I miss you. As much as we fought, and as much as you are a quite person. I miss you so much. Mommy misses you so much too. She loves you so much. But we're doin ok, Kuya moved back home and we're taking care of mommy for you ok.
And even with that I still have so much to say.