downward slope

Past couple of days have been ones where I have been thinking constantly. I am one paranoid person...it's only doing me bad. I'm trying sooo soo soooo hard to be patient. But holy crap, it's so hard. Never have i tried to be so patient in my life before man. I feel like it's a test from God and i'm really trying to past it. they said that "good things come to those who wait." but we shall see.

The patience I'm thinking of is pertaining to a certain relationship that has re-entered my life. And I'm thankful for. We're both kind of going through a struggle right now and maybe we're just taking it out on each other or maybe we're to scared to open up to one another. I don't wanna seem desperate, I don't wanna seem to attached already, and i dont wanna be pushy. So i'm tryin to be laid back, let him do his thang and not be bothered when i don't get a text back. He is the sweetest thing ever, and i'll be damned if i let my influence let it go sour. Which is something I feel I do a lot. Maybe I impose myself into a guy, and that's what makes them pull away. So this time, I'll pull myself away more while trying not to seem too distant, and hopefully it will become a realtionship as successful as it was before.

But...i miss you.